


Firing Rate

by starrylitme



Series: Neo World Program File Zero [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Dangan Ronpa Zero, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Banter, Bathing/Washing, Canon Disabled Character, Cooking, Ficlet Collection, Gen, Magical Girls, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Multi, Neo World Program (Dangan Ronpa), What-If
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2019-11-06 03:46:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17932241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrylitme/pseuds/starrylitme
Summary: “In many ways, you could say that your memory is foundational in your sense of self. Those you meet and remember, your experiences, the information you retain, familiarities, that which ties together past and present, and that which also can provide a framework for the future you may pursue... All of these depend on your collective memory. It’s a powerful thing—but it’s also quite fragile, as well.”Various short side-stories (bonus scenes) set in the Matsuda Survives/SDR2 Protag Matsuda AU, some set before and during the simulation. The more things change, the more they stay the same.





	1. Potency of Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the NWP Trio discuss a few things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tbh I wrote this before I wrote any of the Killing Game AU proper and I decided to make an anthology because this didn't fit and I just didn't want to throw it away. I also thought that since the main games all have "bonus scenes" that I could just...group them all here and maybe include some other stuff depending on my mood. I actually have an idea for another short story I could add involving Miaya since I love her dearly. You might end up seeing it pretty soon.
> 
> Her age is canonically unknown but for the sake of indulgence, she's a teacher in this verse. She's actually older than Chisa, too. Lol. I missed writing her so much. In general the NWP trio is seriously underrated that it's super depressing so I do want to involve them more even if I can't do much with this verse in particular. But that's just how things roll.
> 
> Anyway, you actually don't need any familiarity with any of the other fics set in this verse to understand this one since it's like, set before dr0 itself. That'll be the case for all pre-dr0 fics, so yeah. If you like my writing maybe check them out? Or you can just stick to the pre-dr0 stuff. That's okay too, I guess.

“In many ways, you could say that your memory is foundational in your sense of self. Those you meet and remember, your experiences, the information you retain, familiarities, that which ties together past and present, and that which also can provide a framework for the future you may pursue... All of these depend on your collective memory. It’s a powerful thing—but it’s also quite fragile, as well.” A pause, and he rests his cheek against his palm. “To play with a person’s memories, to be able to control and mold them, to adjust and cut out what you see fit—I wonder if that’s akin to playing God.”

_Well. I say all that... But it doesn’t really matter, does it? I’ll still continue this path, regardless of what I have to do._

There’s still no answer. Gekkogahara is typing away, silent and stoic as always. He’s only really talking to fill up space because this kind of silence is a bit suffocating. He sucks in his breath, gaze up on a blank, unassuming, observing ceiling.

“...Fhhhhh...”

He checks the machine, its whirling and erratic beeping. He must have configured something like this countless times by now, with the help of other scientists. He’s at the point where he understands the tech rather well, almost well enough to pursue a talent in the field.

_If we can truly remove memories the way we would with unwanted data, we can store and restore them the way we would with important data as well. That’s more my goal. The ability to store and restore memories—I can finally achieve what those worthless fucks back then failed to do. I’ve already come so far. Just a little bit further. Even if I can’t bring that person back, I can make damn sure no one ever goes through what she did. And with **ease**._

“I-I’m here!”

Fujisaki stumbles in, clutching their laptop bag as they did. They’re doubled over and panting, and Matsuda regards them coolly.

“I, I’m so sorry,” they stammer meekly. “I was held up in, um, something... I’m so, so sorry...”

“Have you been putting the finishing touches on that AI of yours?” Matsuda asks.

“O-Oh yes! Alter Ego should be in a state where they can assist with the program... I’ve also been working on the data for an observational AI, but I haven’t decided their appearance yet...” Fujisaki hesitates. “I-I’m sorry, I tried to read up on sensei and senpai’s studies and research... But I didn’t really understand any of that at all...”

“And why would you be expected to?” Matsuda asks. “You were asked to assist on the technological front, not the medical. You probably wouldn’t be equipped to understand research that’s come from years and years of studying anyway. The brain can’t go from zero to a hundred like that.”

Fujisaki flinched, grip on their bag’s strap tightening.

“A-Aha... Right...”

“Don’t worry about it,” Matsuda said, gaze averting even as his tone remained flat as ever. “Just focus on what you’re capable of and leave the shit you’re not sure about to the other experts. You wouldn’t be here if what you had to offer wasn’t still really valuable, ya know.”

“R... Right!” Fujisaki seemed to perk up at that, taking their seat at the desk set up for them. They take out their laptop, plugging it in and humming as they turned it out. “Thank you, senpai.”

“For what, exactly?”

“I-It’s just... You’re actually a lot kinder than people say...”

“...no I’m really not.” Matsuda waved his hand. “It’s just being matter-of-fact. I wasn’t saying any of that to be nice, Fujisaki.”

“S-Still...!”

“You really should give yourself more credit, Matsuda-kun!”

Matsuda nearly jumped at the sudden voice, so sugary sweet that it was damn near sickening. There was no doubting who it was, and he grimaced.

“Sensei,” he grumbled. “Don’t fucking scare us like that.”

“I-I wasn’t really scared,” Fujisaki said softly. “I could see that Usami was active for a while.”

Matsuda fumed at that.

“Still... You really should indicate that you’re joining the conversation before jumping in...”

Gekkogahara did glance at him, and she waved at him. Matsuda’s expression only soured more.

“It’s too late to do that _now_.”

Gekkogahara signed an apology, but Matsuda hardly felt any remorse from her stoic face. Still, he turned away and she resumed typing. He was more irritated by Usami on his screen making sad pitiful faces at him.

“I need to work too,” he hissed, swiping at the screen to shoo her away. “Just because I’m not a tech wizard like Fujisaki doesn’t mean I’m no use at all.”

“You’re a great help, Matsuda-senpai,” Fujisaki chirps helpfully.

“A great big, SUPER help!” Usami exclaims, to Matsuda’s growing annoyance. “So hard-working! So diligent! We’re so happy to have you here! Love, love...!”

Without another word, Matsuda swiped her away once more.

“S-So cold...!” she sobbed.

“This isn’t like a group project,” he says. “It’s not the place for sentimentality or frivolities, either.”

“You’re still only in high school, Matsuda-kun...” Usami pointed out meekly as he got to work, implementing more of his research into the data. “You’re so serious. Too serious for your age, I think.”

“Sorry, I skipped the youthful years like I did grades,” Matsuda replied coolly. “But this really isn’t something we can afford to take lightly, you know. The steering committee is going to expect results, and testing it is going to be difficult considering it’s too complex for lab rats.”

“I-I can test the simulation portion!” Fujisaki spoke up, squeaking a bit. “If, um, anything happens, you can take care of it, Matsuda-senpai... I believe in you...”

“Don’t say something so fucking ominous. Yeesh. That’s bad luck.”

“O-Oh... Sorry...”

“I believe in both of you!” Usami exclaimed ever so helpfully. “You’ll both do just fine! Just have hope! Love, love!”

“Sensei, are you sure this AI is alright?” Matsuda asked. “If I had to spend several days with this thing I think I’d be traumatized in a different way. Counterproductive.”

“ _Shock_! D-Do you really think so, Matsuda-kun?!”

“No, but you really are so annoying that I doubt your therapeutic abilities.” Matsuda shooed her off his screen again. “Oi, oi, why the hell are you bothering _me_ so much anyway?”

“Usami helped me out,” Fujisaki murmured. “I think she can help you too, Matsuda-kun... I-If you want her to, of course...”

“Pass.” Matsuda waved his hand. “I have no need for this kind of thing. In fact, I think I’d rather die than have my memories erased. If I do get my memories erased, it’d be safe to say the world ended or something.”

“Senpai...”

“Matsuda-kun... T-That’s a little...”

“It’s just how I feel,” Matsuda said. “All that said...”

_I can’t say I don’t fear this technology at least a little... But I have to keep looking forward, even if I have to forcibly discard and distort the past to do so. All that matters is achieving that future. Hope, despair, what the hell ever._

Whatever it took.


	2. I Wanna Eat Nuts On The Beach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hell is up with that title?! You do realize coconuts aren't actually nuts, right?!
> 
> (In which Matsuda follows his word on giving Owari food and then goes the extra mile. What a guy. A bonus scene that acts as a follow-up to a particular exchange in [Chapter 4](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17672852/chapters/42551831) of Super Danganronpa 2: Matsuda Yasuke's Battle of Despair and Wits.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one probably does require some context from the main fic but it's not much so you could read it as separate from that, I guess. I really recommend reading the main fic though because I'm working really hard on it. ;v;
> 
> This is definitely a variation of the first bonus scene in sdr2 proper but with a few obvious additions. The dialogue is pretty different, which was incidental. But this was still pretty fun to write. I like writing girls and I like writing Matsuda and Owari is suuuuuuper underutilized and under-explored. Given their very different but still very brash personalities, these two clash in a really fun way.
> 
> Please enjoy and maybe leave a comment because those like, maintain my lifeforce.

It wasn’t until he got to his cottage later that he remembered what he told that meathead chick.

_“I’ll give them to you later. But not the whole box.”_

Or something like that. _Right_.

_Right... If anything, I’m a man of my word. Which means I have to get those snacks for her like I said I would._

Irritating. But a promise is a promise, so Matsuda rifles through his snack box for the ones he liked least. Considering that all of these snacks were ones he favored considerably, it was a lot more difficult than it needed to be.

Irritating.

But a promise is a promise so Matsuda just shuts his eyes and picks randomly.

With the sacrifices in his pocket, he’s on his way.

* * *

“Alright, here.”

Like a ravenous animal, Owari didn’t even wait a second. Honestly, Matsuda was impressed that she didn’t eat the plastic wrappings even if he definitely saw her take out chunks of it. Watching her eat was, predictably, disgusting and he had to step back so that nothing would get on him. He was only semi-successful.

It went by quickly. Not even two minutes and Owari inhaled all of them. There had been five in total. Fucking. Five.

And now there were none save for battered, mutilated husks.

_How grim._

“Guuuuh...” Owari looked sullen, staring down at the handful of wrappings. “Mmgh...”

“If we litter, we’ll be in a lot of trouble, so I’ll just take those,” Matsuda sighed. He pulled on some gloves first, of course. The wrappings were covered in mush and saliva after all. Gross. “Anyway, I held up my end of the bargain. Goodbye.”

With that, he turned on his heel to go and toss the trash. Like shit clinging to his shoe, Owari follows him, still groaning all the while.

“Katsuuuuuu. I’m still so...hungry...”

_Is that my name now?_

“Not my problem,” he snapped. “You’re a big girl. Get your own damn food. What do I look like? A caretaker?”

_Although she might be stupid enough to have brain damage._

Owari whined pitifully like a dog.

_I’m kind of irked by the idea that she might beg like one, too._

“You’re making yourself such an eyesore,” he griped, throwing away the wrappers and his gloves for good measure. They were disposable anyway. “Oi, oi, do you have any dignity at all?”

“What’s that? Is it tasty?”

“Oh, lord.”

Matsuda pinched the bridge of his nose, grimace deepening.

_You’d think I’d realize sooner that feeding strays was a shitty fucking idea. She’s not even a cat so what’s the point? Still..._

Owari groaned again, looking utterly pathetic despite the fact that Matsuda knew damn well she could crush skulls between her thighs if she wanted to.

_...ah._ That reminded him of something. The smorgasbord of fruits earlier.

_Actually... Maybe that could work?_

“There’s a lot of coconuts on this island,” he says. “And there might still be durians, too, if you’d prefer those.”

Owari perks up. Like a dog.

“So you can just...break those... I fucking guess...” He shrugs. “So, stop _bothering_ me, and—”

Owari snatches up his arm.

“TO THE BEACH!”

As if he had been shackled, like a dog, Matsuda yelped as he was yanked away with zero consideration as Owari sped off.

* * *

The fucking bitch left bruises so he was unsurprisingly in a worse mood than before. And of course, Owari was vibrating as he gingerly picked up one of the coconuts.

“Alright, now we have to be careful as we break the shell because if not…”

“HIII-YAH!”

**_SMASH._ **

With a powerful kick, the coconut shattered, juice splashing all over him.

“...that’ll happen. Well now we can’t do anything with that.” He wiped off his face, seething. “Hope you’re fucking happy, dumbass.”

“Awww!” She did not, in fact, look happy. But she quickly perked up. “No biggie! There are plenty of nuts on this beach!”

_I’m looking at one particular dire case right now._

“Right. Whatever.” Shrugging his shoulders, he went to pluck up another coconut. “Okay, now, fucking…”

“HOO-HAH!”

**_SMASH._ **

With a powerful punch, second verse. Same as the first. Matsuda was now covered in more coconut milk than he would’ve been comfortable with over the course of a lifetime.

_This is at least in the top forty of shittiest things I’ve had to deal with._

“Eh, hey… The hell’s goin’ on here…?”

“Oh my, my, my, to think Matsuda-kun is now covered with...juices...courtesy of the juicy Owari-san…!”

“Pffffft.”

_Wow. Fucking okay. Make that top fifteen._

“Are you just going to fucking stand there?” he snapped at the gawking audience, specifically at Hinata. “Just what the hell are you even doing, anyway?”

“Eh, um… Souda was saying something about coconuts, but…”

“You’re really making a menace of ‘em!” Souda exclaimed, cutting Hinata off. “Keep that up and we won’t have any!”

“It’s a fucking _palmtree_ beach, more will grow,” Matsuda growled.

“Yes, more nuts, coconuts, that is…” At Matsuda’s icy glare, Hanamura pulled out a handkerchief. “Shall you wipe your pretty face of those juices?”

Matsuda immediately held up his hands.

“Hell no. I don’t know where that has fucking been. I have my own.” He pulls out his own handkerchief as stated and scrubs his face with it. “Urgh. I think I’m good to go without coconut for the rest of my life.”

“Nonsense!” Mioda exclaimed. Pekoyama stood by silently. “Coconuts are a MUST in tropical refreshments!”

Matsuda blinked. Once. Twice.

_She wasn’t here before. Neither of them were. Fucking ninjas?_

“...okay, when...?”

“You seem to be having trouble,” Pekoyama observes, reading her sword. “Allow me.”

“Oh, wow, godsent ninjas. Okay. Go for it. I’ll go gather more in that case.” Matsuda clicked his tongue at the others. “You dipshits, too. You have no idea how much that bimbo can fucking eat.”

“HUNGRYYYY!” Owari wailed, just in case anyone forgot about her and if that was the case— _how_?

“Yeah, uh, we should hurry before she chomps on us,” Souda stammered, to which Hinata only hurriedly nodded.

“Ooh, my! I’ll be happy to lend any helping hand to satiate one’s...” Hanamura purred. “ _Hunger_.”

“Not _you_ ,” Matsuda snarled. “Keep your fucking hands on your own nuts. Creep.”

“Yessir!”

_Don’t get even more excited!_

* * *

After all was said and done, the coconuts were gathered. A considerable amount, at that. Somehow, Matsuda doubted it’d be enough but...

“Stand back,” Pekoyama said.

Several consistent thwacks later and they all had their respective split coconuts. Well, everyone except Owari. Who had several. That she was chugging like one would alcohol. Like a bear in a honeypot.

_Come up with a different comparison, you fucking idiot. A cat in cream, maybe? God, I miss stray cats._

Sighing, Matsuda just sipped at his own. After bathing in it, he couldn’t really say he was that big a fan of coconut milk anymore, but it...wasn’t bad...he guessed. Not that he was impressed or anything.

“Whew! This is the life!” Mioda chirped. “On the beach! With a coconut! And three babes!”

“Are you counting yourself, there?” Souda asked.

“Four babes!” she corrected.

“W-Wait, which one...?”

“Five babes!” Hanamura exclaimed.

“W-Who isn’t a babe, then?!” Souda yelped. “I know it’s not you, so is it me?!”

“M-Mmgh...” Hinata made a weird strangled noise. Matsuda only observed to make sure he wouldn’t choke.

“It is nice, I suppose.” At Pekoyama’s soft comment, Matsuda perks up. “Refreshing, as Mioda said.”

“Yeah. Guess we have you to thank, huh?” Matsuda muttered. “Not that I really care but... You definitely made things a lot easier.”

_Not to mention..._

“She looks pretty happy,” he went on, indicating Owari, who was at least halfway through her stash. “You might have to crack a few more, but, if it keeps her from fucking whining, we’d all appreciate that, at least.”

“Hm.” Pekoyama hummed, her gaze narrowing sharply. “We shall see, I suppose.”

“Yeah...okay.”

Under Pekoyama’s piercing stare, Matsuda was starting to get a headache.

“ _Urgh_.”

“You still have bits of coconut in your hair, Matsuda,” Pekoyama supplied ever helpfully. She raises her hand, but thankfully thinking better of it, she dropped it. “You should wash that out.”

He groaned again, this time louder.

“I’ll _definitely_ get a fucking shower after this.”

Hinata casted him a glance, and very poorly masked another snicker. Hanamura licked his lips at him. Souda snorted into his hand. Mioda winked. Owari didn’t even care. The atmosphere was relaxed, and Matsuda’s mood couldn’t be more sour.

_This is fucking why I don’t do vacation._


	3. Saionji Hiyoko FTEs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What it says on tin. Watch in awe as Matsuda and Saionji bicker like bitchy siblings and I mean the "I'm going to bury you alive" kind, not the "I'll bury a body for you" kind. Amazing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can it be considered a reference to a fictional work if the work itself is historical fiction and you're referencing the historical part? Deep questions here in the world of protag matsun.
> 
> Coincidentally, these were written for user 17thLord for being the first one to correctly guess the reference in chapter 4 of the main fic. Thank you for indulging me, hopefully these are to your liking!
> 
> I didn't copy Saionji's events exactly because (I didn't like some of them) that'd be boring, but there are still bits carried over, albeit recontextualized. Which is usually the case for this verse. Hell, it was the case for the previous chapter. If you could call these 'chapters' I suppose. Eh.
> 
> I dunno if I'm gonna write FTEs for all 16 characters. That would be, like, hard, and I dunno who'd be interested in this x16, such-and-such character edition. If people are interested in particular characters, then I'll consider it because I would die without validation. That kind of thing.
> 
> That's so much general talk and not enough about Saionji. I like her. Best Girl. After Sonia. Please look forward to more of her. Also on a totes unrelated note, dai gyakuten saiban is good. Thanks DGS for providing me with basic information that I could've just looked up on my own if I actually cared that much about research.
> 
> There was quite a bit of xenophobia that I cut out from the original FTEs but you can still see remnants. Just. Letting you know.

_By all accounts, this is a shitty fucking idea but..._

“One! Two! One! Two! Left! Right! Left!” A giggle. An intake of breath. And then, she wails. “Waaaaah! Some fucking creep keeps staring at _meeeee_!”

“I’m just astounded you’re still not bored with squishing thoraxes,” Matsuda muttered, already questioning every single choice he could’ve made that would lead to being in this situation. “Do you have a vendetta against drones or what?”

_But I guess it’s better than stomping crabs._

Saionji snorted.

“And now the weirdo creep is asking me strange questions. And in such a _droning_ voice! I hate it!”

“Sorry, my baby talk is pretty rusty. But if you’re that whiny, would you be pacified with a candy?”

“If it’s lemon I don’t want it!” Saionji exclaimed, looking absolutely affronted.

“...”

Matsuda pulled out a lollipop.

“Orange, then?”

“Give it! I’ll never forgive you if you don’t!”

“Alright.”

Somehow, with that little exchange, a devil’s contract had been formed.

* * *

“Mm, mm.” Sickening smacks of the lips, and Matsuda really was wondering how things turned out like this. Saionji looked pretty content, at least. “Hey, hey, Matsuda-nii. You wanna know what I think about you?”

“I can’t imagine it’s positive,” he replied. “Even if you weren’t a yappy bitch desecrating our serene cultural beauty, I get the feeling you would still think I’m kind of a dick.”

“Mm...” Just like that, Saionji’s wide, watery eyes filled with tears. And she begin to sniffle. And she wails yet again, _“I ABSOLUTELY_ ** _WOULD_** _THINK THAAAAAT! MATSUDA-NII’S SUCH A JEEEEEERK!!! A P-PERVERTED...SHIT-SPEWING...COMPLETE ASSHOLE!!!”_

“At least most of what you say is true and everyone knows it.” With a roll of his eyes, he dropped a crumpled up handkerchief into her lap. “So shut the hell up. Do you have any fucking pride at all? Pathetic.”

“U-Uu. The worst. The absolute worst. You even gave me such a shitty fucking rag.” Irritated, she still fiddled with it. “Did anyone even teach you how to fold?! Oh.”

She quiets when she sees that there’s a candy tucked inside. It’s wrapped up cutely in pink and orange polka dots. Her face pinches up so much so she looks constipated. All the same, she finishes up her lollipop so that she can unwrap this new candy and pop it into her mouth. Bitterly, she seems to like it a lot.

Not that Matsuda is really looking at her anymore.

“You really are a pervert, thinking you can pacify me with that.”

“I forgot about it,” he said, shrugging. “But think what you want. I’m not interested in the line of correcting stupid, stubborn brats.”

She hiccuped, sniffling and blowing her nose on his handkerchief.

“I-If you were _really_ sorry, you’d get me the sweet I _really_ like.”

_What makes you think I’d fucking care? And anyway..._

“You mean those gummies you always eat?” Matsuda asked,  Just pick them up at the damn supermarket. You’re a big girl, aren’t you?”

“THAT’S NOT IIIIIIT!!!” Saionji shook her head furiously. “Dummy! Stupid! Perv! That’s just ordinary candy I happen to like! What I really like is _special_!”

“Shut the heeeeeell up,” Matsuda snapped. “If you want me to figure shit out, don’t be so fucking vague about it. Haven’t you ever been to a doctor before? Shouldn’t you _know_ this?”

“U-Urgh.” Grumbling, she wiped irritably at her eyes, glaring back at him darkly. “What I really like is special, sweet, small, and shaped like a _star_!”

“Oh.” Matsuda inhaled, nodding in understanding. “Confeito.”

She nodded back.

“Well.” Matsuda rubbed at the nape of his neck. “I dunno what to tell you, then. They don’t have that shit at the supermarket.”

Just like that, Saionji’s face turned to stone.

“And even if they did, like hell I’d share any with such a bratty, yappy troll.” Matsuda frowned. “Do you really think that with a face like that, and if you cry, that you can just get people to do whatever you want? You’re not even a kid, you’re the same fucking age as me.”

Saionji bit her lip.

“Still, I guess confeito’s at least good taste,” he sighed, shrugging. “Small yet intricately designed, sparkling like the stars they’re based off of. They’re works of art, along with flower candies along with the kind of aesthetic treats enjoyed at a tea ceremony. Personally, I’m a big fan of Mont Blanc, too.”

“Too sweet,” Saionji muttered darkly. “Foreign sweets are way too disgustingly sweet. They’re uncultured.”

Matsuda gave her an unimpressed look.

“Even castella?”

“M-Mmgh.” Saionji fidgeted, seething as she did. “Castella is...it’s... It’s fine, but...”

“Buuuuut? What?” Matsuda’s brow furrowed. “What’s got you so _bitter_?”

Saionji got to her feet, eyes brimming with tears again, and she shoved him down none too gently. He grunted as he landed harshly onto his back.

“Big! Stupid! Jerk!”

He only barely managed to avoid her stomping feet and just as he glared, she had already rushed off, leaving him in her proverbial dust.

_And what the actual fuck was that about?_

He sputtered a bit.

_Seriously what the hell?_

Sighing, he shook her head. He wasn’t in the mood for chasing her, especially considering the shit she’d scream at him if he did, so for now, he’ll just leave her be.

* * *

Unsurprisingly, the next time he saw her, she turned away in a childish huff. Since he had time to think about it, even though he hadn’t really wanted to, he can figure that she was probably pissed about...being called out on her shit.

_Predictable._

He would’ve just given her time to sort that nonsense out on her own, but Saionji kept sneaking angry glances. Kept sneering. Kept turning away with a childish huff.

_Oh for fuck’s sake. What a goddamn nuisance._

So, in the end, he approached her first after all.

“Yo.”

“Gross.”

“I’m not going to apologize,” he snapped, unaffected by her look of contemptuous disgust, even as he retained his usual scowl. “So if you’re trying to guilt me, it’s not going to fucking work. Just. Letting you know.”

Saionji bristled, but then, she sighed heavily.

“Of cooooourse not. I’ve known that from the start that fake tears weren’t going to do shit on someone like you,” she said, rolling her eyes. “You’re awful. Super cold. The kind of person I hate super much even if it’s not the most.”

“Were those tears _really_ fake?” he asked, unimpressed. “If you knew that it wouldn’t work, you wouldn’t have reacted so strongly.”

“Shut up.” Her expression would’ve terrified a weakling like that mechanic guy but Matsuda just met her glare coldly. “A filthy, shit-spewing asshole like you should just keep his trap shut.”

He shook his head, tilting it with a twisting frown.

“And you can’t even be bothered to say please? You’re about traditional dancing, right? Where’s your fucking formality?”

Saionji reddened with anger. With a stomp of her foot, she huffed and then, with trembling shoulders, she mumbled, “You really are someone I super hate very much.”

He waved his hand.

“Then, there’s really nothing more to say,” he said, and he turned on his heel. “I’ll get out of your sight then, brat.”

“Y-You really don’t feel bad or guilty at all?!” she sputtered. “Where’s your heart?!”

“Bedside manner is reserved for patients, and I don’t have the _patience_ for someone like you,” Matsuda snapped.

“W-Wah...” Shuddering, Saionji’s breath hitched as her fists balled. “T-The worst. The _worst_. I hate you so much!”

**_Urgh._ **

“I don’t really hate you,” he said. “But I can’t exactly say I like you, either. Then again, with the way you act?”

His head was throbbing, which was even more irritated. It was only worse when Saionji wailed and wailed.

_Urgh. **Urgh.** Why do I...?_

“Will you shut _up_ , you bitch? Shut up!”

Unsurprisingly, she just got louder.

“Shut up!”

And louder.

“ _Shut_...!”

And louder.

“Saionji, for _fuck’s sake_!”

Saionji’s mouth shut, but she was glowering darkly and viciously. Chin tucked, with eyes hooded yet bright with fury.

“Call me that again and I’ll fucking kill you.”

_And now she’s actually threatening me?! Is this the same gremlin or is it now the other one? But more than that..._

“You don’t want me to call you by your name?” A pause. “Your family name? What? Is your family that bad? Well, the rotten apple doesn’t fall far from...”

He ends up trailing off as she scoffed, lips trembling, eyes glimmering.

_I’m treading into sensitive territory, here._

“Just don’t use it,” Saionji snapped. “It’s an awful wretched name and I hate it more than I hate you.”

Matsuda opened his mouth to say something, but for once, he thought better about it and kept his trap shut.

_...your family name, huh..._

Saionji ended up being the one who turned on her heel and stomped away. Matsuda watched her, feeling a weird twist in his gut. Guilt, maybe? Gross.

_I might’ve gone too far after all. Shit._

* * *

“Yooo.”

“Grooooss.”

Saionji sneered as he shuffled his hand into his pocket. Grumbling lowly, he ended up pulling out a bag of sweet buns and very nearly flings it into her face. Saionji’s expression shifts to unreadable, but she immediately opens the bag. Her beady eyes are expectant as she takes a bun and bites down into it.

“I actually should apologize for before,” Matsuda muttered, averting his gaze. “Family matters can be delicate, I guess.”

_That said._

“I’m not really going to pry into said family matters, mind you. That’s _really_ none of my business. So it’s whatever. Just take what you will from it.”

“Mm. Mmf.” Saionji chewed and swallowed, blinking at him a few times with those childishly wide eyes. “You really are suuuuuper fucking pitiful, huh? You have no grace in apologizing at all!”

Matsuda grumbled.

_It’s whatever. Whatever. Just what the hell am I trying to accomplish, again? Fuck._

“Yep!” Saionji giggled. “You act all high and mighty but you’re just one of many unimportant losers under me! So you should just accept your place as a slave and don’t bitch so much!”

Matsuda blinked. And he held up his hand.

“You’re about thirty-eight centimeters too short and about a hundred years too young to make those kinds of demands.” He rubs at his nape. “Still. Sorry about earlier.”

“I don’t forgive you,” she chirped. “Not until you grovel.”

“I’m not _that_ sorry.”

“Awww! Then what good are you even for?”

“Do you even remember what my talent is?”

“Nope! Why should I?”

Matsuda rolled his eyes.

_Playing around with a spoiled brat really isn’t a worthwhile use of my time. I should just leave._

“You’re a doctor, right?”

Just as he had turned on his heel, the words gave him pause. Saionji’s tone was high and cheerful, but lowered in pitch when she clicked her tongue over the syllables of doctor.

“If you’re a doctor, then you should stay by my side.” Another click of her tongue, followed up by a giggle. “Don’t you know? Anyone with the surname Saionji is cursed to die.”

If he hadn’t been drawn in before, he was definitely curious now.

“Bloodlines are always targeted by organizations and are often subjected to assassinations,” she went on, waving a bun around as though it were a fan before stuffing it into her mouth. She had some manners to chew and swallow, touching her lips before finally going on, “Since I’m head of the family, I’m a target, too. I’ll get pins in my shoes, dead mice on my bed, food poisoned, and stage lights dropped on me. I’m in a lot of danger, Matsuda-nii. That’s why you have to protect me.”

**_“That’s w̴̡̫͆̃͗̓̃h̴̞̤͂͒̊͋̕ỷ̷̛̻̓̿̽̀...”_ **

A sudden striking pain in his temple, and Matsuda was immediately snapped out of the moment. Grumbling, he rubs at his temple, and he grimaces at Saionji’s innocently blinking eyes.

“That sounds like you need a _guard_ , not a doctor,” he huffed. “If that’s what you’re so concerned about, why not indoctrinate one of those two meatheads or something? Well, I can’t speak for their observational skills, but...”

“But nothing!” Saionji shrieked. “Those two are sooooooo boring! Owari’s so gullible that she’ll believe anything I say! What’s the fun in that?!”

“There’s also that I’m a _specialized_ doctor,” Matsuda added, exasperated. “As not fun as it would be to turn up with pins in your feet, that’s not my field. I wouldn’t be assigned to work on that. Pins in your _skull_ , on the other hand...”

Saionji’s cheek puffed until they looked rosier than cherries.

“If general health issues are a concern, then go for the healthcare committee chick,” he said. “Tsumiki Mikan, was it?”

“Mmgh.” Just like that, she went from pouting to splitting with a smirk. “She _is_ really fun to mess with.” Just like that, her smile quickly dropped. “You, on the other hand, aren’t much fun at all. Just when you were showing potential, too.”

_Potential?_

“You really are hung up on your manipulative act, huh,” he mused. “What’s even the point of that? You clearly aren’t that good at it. You’re way too easy.”

“What was that?” she asked, gaze hooded.

“Playing dumb isn’t going to help, either,” Matsuda said, gaze drifting to the side. “You’re too obvious. Despite some shallow similarities, you’re actually nothing like...”

He stops. He blinks. Once. Twice.

_Just...what was I in the middle of saying?_

His head hurt. It really hurt. It was as if all his thoughts came crashing down in a heavy heap that dig into his head deep enough to pierce nerves. It really fucking hurt.

“Matsuda-nii?”

Saionji sounds as confused as she does frustrated.

“I... I-I need to go.” His mouth felt dry, head and heart pounding, thoughts in shrieking, shattered remains. “Right. Away.”

“Hey, what the hell, Matsuda-nii?!” When he took off running, Saionji yelled after him. “H-HEY, _MATSUDA-NII_!!!”

He could hear her, but it was detached and distant, as if she didn’t even occupy the same plane.

* * *

The next time their paths had intersect, Saionji was, as per usual, pretty pissed right off the bat. But this time, her glare bore into him intensely, almost searchingly, like there was something she needed to see and yet nothing yielded. She was frustrated. Still confused. About what had happened.

Which was fair, Matsuda had no idea what the fuck he was on about earlier either. Truth be told, he barely remembered it because he downed so many pills afterwards that he passed out. As it stands, he’s just grateful he didn’t get his idiot ass seriously sick. He’s still a little drowsy and out of it, but keeping his body active should work wonders.

He should avoid anything that aggravates whatever that was, which would include Saionji. But. Even if that’d be good in the short term, he had a bad fucking feeling about the long term.

And so here they were. Matsuda lowkey wanted her to stomp on his foot and storm off because this intense, glaring silence wasn’t doing anyone any favors. His head doesn’t hurt, but he’s tired.

So. So fucking tired.

“...you don’t know what happened either, huh.”

Finally Saionji does speak, shuffling so that her hanging sleeves press together at the ends, hiding her curling fists.

“You know...” She stomps her foot. On just the dirt. “You really started acting so freaky and weird! It was scary! You should’ve showed up with sweets to make up for it, Matsuda-nii! Why didn’t you?!”

“Urgh.” Glumly, he digs through his pocket and pulls out another wrapped candy. He then unwraps it and pops it into his mouth, making Saionji shriek. He only shrugs. “I haven’t really been in the mood to give away snacks that I can just eat myself. Sorry. I guess.”

“You pig! Your perv! Y-You pig perv! You’re the worst!” Saionji sobs. “J-Just the WOOOOOORST!”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it.” Matsuda swallows down the candy. It itches his throat a little. “So. Now that we’ve come to an understanding, we can just not bother with each other anymore.”

Saionji sniffled into her sleeves, shoulders hitching.

“I still don’t have any interest in catering to you,” he went on. “And I’m...”

_Just so...so tired._

But he’s alert enough to avoid, Saionji trying to stomp on his foot for real. However she does latch her sticky fingers onto his coat.

“You owe me! You’re not going to just tap out, you jackass! Meanie! Jerkface!” She blows her nose on his coat, to his recoil of absolute disgust. “I-I... I demand compensation for emotional turmoil! Five bags of sweet buns! E-Every day...for a week!”

Matsuda’s response was to none too gently wrench her off of him from the back of her kimono. She wailed, and he doubted that it hurt that much. All the same, she only shut up when Matsuda muffled her sobbing with his handkerchief, pinching her nose until she blew on that.

“A lab coat is shit for doing anything about mucus, you fucking idiot,” he hissed. “And that many sweets will rot your teeth! Just how unreasonable are you? Not everyone signs up for brat sitting, so are you really that spoiled? Or are you just stupid?”

Saionji hiccuped but smacked his hand away despite keeping his handkerchief for herself as she continued blowing into it.

“I swear.” Matsuda grimaced at the stains on his coat, wiping it off with the spare handkerchief he carried around with little success. “If you wanted to keep hanging around for some unfathomable reason, you can just converse like a normal person. Like about manga or something?”

“M-Manga is...for gross pervs.” Saionji’s trembling like a leaf. “I-It’s for gross, disgusting, pedophiliac pervs!”

“Oh for fuck’s sake.”

“N-Novels are way better!” she wails. “L-Like  _The Madness_... _of Nakazu_!”

He does perk at that. Sucking in his breath, Matsuda threw his head back.

“ _I Am A Cat_ isn’t a bad read,” he mumbled. “It’s probably my favorite of Souseki-san’s.”

Saionji nodded furiously.

“Right, r-right!” She sneezed, hiccuping and rubbing at her eyes. “What a miserable, wretched time period! How sad for Souseki-san to be surrounded by...by awful, wretched, stuffy pigs!”

_Your behavior isn’t much better than those ‘stuffy pigs’._

Matsuda sighed.

“Although isn’t it disrespectful to disregard an entire medium because of a few undesirables? There _are_ works that put emphasis on long-standing cultural ideas and aesthetics.”

“There are too many works that don’t!” Saionji exclaimed, heated to the point that her grip on the handkerchief was white as bone. “They stress other super undesirable ideas and aesthetics! And they pander to such a low brow! There are ideas that far more deserve to be retold and retained in the public conscious! And with such an influx of _shit_ , those ideas are getting muted and muffled, overturned and overwhelmed by what’s nothing more than trash...!”

“Hhh... I can’t argue with all of that, but don’t rip anything.” Matsuda waved his hand. “I’m too tired to argue period. So just tell me about _Madness of Nakazu_ instead, you stupid brat in a kimono.”

“Gladly! It’s about a father who...for his daughter’s sake...”

And such was how he spent his free time. He still had to wash his coat afterwards, which wasn’t great.

* * *

“Matsuda-nii, you seem like the kind of person who falls asleep in the middle of performances.”

“Well, that wouldn’t be a wrong assessment.”

“You really have no class at all!” Saionji laughed and there was a cruel edge to it. “Aren’t you ashamed?”

“Not particularly.” He shrugged. “Performances like that are sometimes meant to evoke a sense of serenity, so I still appreciate them even if I fall asleep. The effect that visual arts have on the brain isn’t one that can be understated.”

“Oh, right, you’re a brain-obsessed brainiac.” Another cruel, childish laugh. “That’s so weird.”

“Understanding this is how we put to words the effect and significance of the emotional reactions the arts evoke. It also shows just how deep our biologically-ingrained empathy runs,” he rambles on, not giving her much thought. “For example it is believed that we map the movements and actions of others onto our own somatosensory system. When a dancer leaps, the audience soars. Adrenaline pumps in response to the sight of death-defying acrobatics and stunts. That kind of thing.”

Saionji fidgets, frown twisting.

“That’s nothing exclusive to traditional dancing, though,” she pointed out. “It completely ignores the importance of how in order to set my audience at ease, I must first be relaxed to my fingertips!”

“Yeah.” Matsuda blinks, rubbing at his eye. “There is that.”

“Traditional dancing isn’t just about showcasing beauty! It’s about evoking the feeling of that beauty!” Saionji exclaimed. “It’s about making everyone feel the same love for that beauty that I feel! Which is far more important than just the clinical explanation of it!”

Matsuda hmphed, brow furrowing.

“Similar to your passion for the dancing, my passions lie in those clinical explanations,” he snapped. “It’s rude as hell to dismiss them, especially when they’re the foundation keeping your performance afloat. Even if you moved beautifully, if people were incapable of that empathy, the necessary stimulation required for that appreciation would be unreachable.”

Saionji seemed pretty unimpressed with that.

“I shouldn’t have to hear this from someone who just falls asleep!”

“I don’t always fall asleep,” Matsuda griped. “I wouldn’t fall asleep during your performances, for instance.”

_Because I do have a sense of self-preservation._

“If you do, I’ll publically humiliate you and post it online,” Saionji seethed.

“I definitely wouldn’t. I’ll make sure I’ll stay awake if it’s you.”

“...”

Saionji bit her lip, playing with her sleeves for a bit.

“Y’know... Daddy used to say the same thing, but he was way nicer about it.”

_Hmm?_

“I thought you didn’t like your family?”

“Daddy married into it, so he’s fine.” Her frown deepened. “But my family name really is important, as my hag grandmother used to say.”

_Maybe she’s the disliked family, then._

Matsuda decided not to push the topic.

_That’s not my place to barge in on. Family matters can be delicate._

But he remembered, vaguely, _The Madness of Nakazu_ , about a father who went crazy in order to protect his daughter. How they lived happily ever after, and how real life wasn’t always that simple.

“I don’t like your tone,” Saionji said, apropos of nothing and ironically making it easier on him. “But, y’know, I don’t always hate the things you say.”

_And how am I supposed to respond to that?_

“Alright.”

_Brilliance._

“You really are super uber pitiful though, Matsuda-nii,” Saionji said, eyes wide. “But that’s alright. Once you accept your place under me, I’ll definitely protect you.”

“No, you won’t.”

“No, I won’t!” she laughed again. “Like hell I would!”

“Yeah. I’m not surprised.”

_But, y’know... I think I have a pretty good picture of your character._

“If you do fall asleep in the middle of my performance,” Saionji said, lowly and seriously. “I’ll never, ever forgive you.”

“I won’t, I won’t.”

_All things considered, I guess we’ve gotten to know each other reasonably well. I don’t see us getting all that close for obvious reasons. This bitch is still a major pain in the ass and ears with her shrill whining, but..._

“Promise you won’t! Swear on your _life_!”

“I won’t.”

_She’s not the worst person and weirdly enough, dealing with her is nostalgic, almost bittersweet._

**_But if I think too deeply on that, it’ll definitely hurt._ **


	4. Not Too Hot, Not Too Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's hot! Way too hot! What's with that look, fugly? Wash your own self and your fucking soul while you're at it.
> 
> (In which Matsuda and Komaeda clean themselves off in the public bath. It's clean, I tell you, CLEAN! A bonus scene that occurs immediately after [Chapter 10](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17672852/chapters/49333130) of Super Danganronpa 2: Matsuda Yasuke's Battle of Despair and Wits.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Context isn't super important in this one. It's just two guys bathing together. Yep. Just that. It's a little gay.
> 
> The bonus event that this one correlates to is obvious if a bit infamous. There's no voyeurism in this one. I actually tried to keep it fairly chaste or at least with minimal sexual tension but that's really difficult when Komaeda's such a gay disaster. Thankfully it's not from his perspective but you can still hear his internal gay screaming if you listen hard enough. This is very indulgent, I admit, but I like baths just as a concept. They're warm and comforting. And taking a bath with someone (platonically) is also nice and comforting. At least it is for me.
> 
> One of these days I'll be more original but today is not that day. Please enjoy and maybe leave a comment and make me happier by doing so? Maybe?

Just undressing was a bit of an endeavor with how much his shirt got stuck to his skin. It was a hassle to drag off, and the tag in the back was fucking scratchy as shit. Grumbling, Matsuda practically yanked it off, tossing it aside. He moved onto his pants, even more of a hassle due to the texture and scowled all the while.

“Do you need help, Matsuda-kun?”

“No, fuck off.”

Komaeda giggles in response and Matsuda doesn’t look at him but at the set of clothes set  _ delicately _ aside. Shirt, pants, and boxers all daintily folded with the ridiculous jacket hung up lovingly. Compared to his heap on the group currently burying his slippers. The orderliness annoys him for several reasons, but he’s not in a particularly introspective mood right now so he lets it slide.

Komaeda had already turned on the shower, humming and checking the temperature. Matsuda stole a glance at his bare shoulders, noting that without extra layers, Komaeda Nagito was almost disgustingly frail. The steam did little to obscure that, but Matsuda quickly directed his attention to wiping the moisture off his forehead rather than overthinking as he was prone to do.

_ If I had let him get tied up, would he have actually survived? _

He shouldn’t think about that.

_ Also, he caused two deaths yesterday and is humming a damn tune. But, hey, we all cope in different ways. Urgh. _

He shouldn’t think about that, either. While a shower was one of the more ideal places to get ill, he did want to just bathe and wash everything away rather than creating a larger mess.

_ Even though I’m a mess of a human being even without that damn basket case over there. _

Ha. Ha.

“Matsuda-kun, the water’s ready!”

_ Who’s responsible for who, here? _

With a sigh, Matsuda dispensed the last of his clothes into the misery heap and made his way over. Komaeda handed him the shower nozzle cheerfully with his face and hands both looking awfully red.

Matsuda checked the water and nearly screamed from the immediate, _searing_ burn.

“What the fuck, how  _ big  _ is your death wish?!”

“Oh,” Komaeda intoned, pulling the water away and staring at the nozzle in confusion. “Too hot or too cold?”

“Hot! Way too hot! Are you trying to burn yourself alive?! Wasn’t Hanamura enough?!”

Urgh, and now he felt sick again.

“It felt fine to me,” Komaeda muttered, almost curiously. He puts his hand under the spray. “Mm.”

Matsuda yanked his hand away by the wrist, expression dark.

“The least you can do is take me by my fucking word.”

_ So he can’t feel it. That’s great. That’s just great. He’s bad at guilt, grief, and heat. What a combination. But, I can’t exactly be surprised. _

Sighing, he took over the shower and twisted the knob so that it was more suitably lukewarm. He personally preferred them on the cold side because he was less likely to fall asleep that way, but he didn’t want to give the idiot he was in charge of a fucking stroke.

“Sorry, Matsuda-kun.” Komaeda ducked his head, looking apologetic at least. This guy and his standards. Matsuda simply rolled his eyes.

“Do you never notice blisters?”

“Oh, I get them sometimes. Why?” Komaeda tilted his head, smile stupid and innocent. “It’s the same with bruises.”

“Understandable,” Matsuda grumbled before spraying Komaeda in the face. “Aah, it looks like I’m gonna have my work cut out for me.”

Komaeda cried out, gurgling his name. When Matsuda pulled back, he was groaned and covering his face.

“Uu, it got up my nose.”

“Ah.” Matsuda clicked his tongue, and he couldn’t brush off the rising heat in his cheeks as being the fault of the water. Dammit. “Sorry about that. Turn around. Let’s just start rinsing you off.”

“M-Mm?” Komaeda blinked at him blearily. “I can do that myself, Matsuda-kun.”

“Did I fucking stutter? I can’t even trust you to not eat soap with how you act sometimes.”

“I wouldn’t do that.” A pause. “I can’t even see how that would serve any higher purpose. Really, if anyone should do that, it should be Matsuda-kun.”

“Fuck off.”

Giggling at his inane joke, Komaeda obeyed and turned around. Matsuda’s gaze ran up and down. Every contour of his spinal cord and shoulder blades stuck out, and even over his hips, the skin seemed to be stretched over thin. Komaeda still hummed cheerfully, squirting shampoo into his hand and lathering his hair.

“That melody,” Matsuda found himself murmuring. “I guess it’s not terrible.”

“Aha, thank you.” Even tossed carelessly over his shoulder, Komaeda’s smile was painfully bright. “It’s a lullaby that a nurse used to sing for me.”

_ Not your mom? _

His chest clenched at the thought.

_ Then again, do I even remember her lullabies? _

“Do you know any lullabies, Matsuda-kun?”

“Haah? What kind of question is that?”

“I just,” Komaeda chuckled, turned away with pink ears. “Whenever you remark on something, I can’t help but wonder about the significance of it.”

Komaeda’s hands dropped to his lap, head tilted back. Getting the message, Matsuda turned the spray back on him to rinse out the soap. Without thinking, he runs his own fingers through the ivory strands to be thorough. As one would expect, the hair was thin, frail, and easy to pull out if he wasn’t careful.

“Mm, Matsuda-kun,” Komaeda hums happily. “So cleansing.”

“If you make it weird again, I won’t hesitate to spray your face.”

“Uwah! Please don’t!” A light laugh tinged with weariness. “I really didn’t enjoy the previous time.”

“So there’s your limit on your self-destructive tendencies, huh?”

“I don’t like to be hurt without purpose, Matsuda-kun!”

“I see.”

He wanted to scoff but instead bit his tongue.

_ A fucking mess I got myself into, that’s for damn sure. _

All the same, he finishes with Komaeda’s hair and moves on to scrub his back. Komaeda shudders, flushing for some reason, and Matsuda avoids his stare. Instead, he observes the various scars on the other’s body. Some of them were surgical scars. He could tell they were the work of amateurs and it pissed him off considerably.

“U-Um, Matsuda-kun? You really don’t have to go this far.”

“With how pitiful you are, you’d sprain something by accident if I just left you on your own,” he retorted. “Besides, it’s easier this way. Do the same for me next because I really don’t want to expend this kind of effort on myself.”

“Aha,” Komaeda gasped before nodding cheerily. “That’s so like you. It’s still the highest honor to ask of from someone like me!”

“Not really.”

_ If I end up falling asleep, I’m hoping this idiot has the sense to wake me up, at least. _

Komaeda was still giggling and fawning over the idea and he may have made a mistake, but Matsuda was a stubborn enough guy to commit. And whatever regret there was, it wasn’t enough to overcome his sheer laziness and disinterest in maintaining an acceptable level of personal hygiene.

“Hm, hm.”

He was actually starting to doze off already.

“Oh, Matsuda-kun, I’m not done washing myself off yet!” Komaeda exclaimed, aghast. “Ah, just let me take the nozzle back to finish.”

He was tired enough to comply, sitting down and laying his cheek against his knees with a groan.

“Ugh. The day hasn’t even truly started yet. That’s fucking great.”

“Chin up, Matsuda-kun! As an Ultimate, you have to keep looking unwaveringly towards the future.”

“Ew.”

And then, Komaeda was the one to spray him in the face. The ensuing water fight after that, with Matsuda cursing and Komaeda chortling, was more than enough to get his spirits up in a manner of speaking.

But even after the water took away all the sweat, dirt, and a little bit of blood, it sure as hell didn’t lighten up the overall situation. Still, Matsuda supposed he felt a little more capable to handle it, even with a beaming nuisance trailing after him.


	5. Wuv-Wuv Omurice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eat your fucking meats. Eat your fucking rice. Just toast isn't enough, you dumbass.
> 
> An alternate scene in [Chapter 13](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17672852/chapters/50307455) of Super Danganronpa 2: Matsuda Yasuke's Battle of Despair and Wits in which Matsuda makes use of a cookbook.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a bonus scene but that didn't work out because I'm dumb. Thus, it's an alternative scene instead. I like writing cooking scenes, so I enjoyed writing this quite a bit. I really like domestic scenes. You can likely tell that this scene correlates to the one where all the girls make chocolate together. I did want to include that scene but I just didn't see Matsuda as the type to intrude on the girls. So there's this instead. It's still pretty cute. We'll remember the other girls in spirit. They're not dead. Yet. But we shall still remember them.

“Mahiru-oneeeeee... It spilled...!”

“Ah, you overfilled it. But that’s okay, Hiyoko-chan. Better too much than too little! Let’s quickly wipe up what fell!”

“Okaaaaay!”

“Ah.” Matsuda popped his lips, tightening his grip on Komaeda’s sleeve. “You two.”

“Saionji-san, Koizumi-san!” Komaeda greeted, unaffected by the way the two returned his cheerful grin with less than enthusiastic grimaces. “Good morning to both of you!”

“Ew, it’s the pests,” Saionji sneered, pressing closer to Koizumi. “You’re finally up and taking the pest pet out on a walk, Matsuda-nii?”

“You wouldn’t answer your door, Matsuda,” Koizumi griped, unimpressed with both of them. “Are you taking this situation seriously?”

“Sorry, I was too busy with other things.”

“Like what?!”

“Things.” He blinked, noticing the rice that Koizumi cooked. It had a nice smell and from the looks of it, better consistency. Clearly fresh, too. He couldn’t help but wonder. “How much of that did you make?”

Koizumi stiffened. Pink touched her cheeks while a scowl marred Saionji’s face.

“It’s not for you!” she huffed. “Mahiru-onee made that for someone else!”

“Koizumi-san, you’re so considerate,” Komaeda fawned, ever adoring. “We are all so lucky to have you here!”

“I’m not interested in stealing the meal she made,” Matsuda snapped. “I meant more the rice. If she’s done with the cooker, I might be able to use it for my own meal.” His thumb jerked in Komaeda’s direction, nearly hitting him in the face, making Komaeda jump a little all the same. “And for his. Obviously.”

“That guy?” Koizumi did frown, brow pinching with uncertainty before she sighed and shook her head. “You should also wake up at a reasonable hour. But if you’re going to be a caretaker, you also best be able to cook.”

“I’ve cooked meals for myself here and there,” Matsuda said with a wave of his hand. Saionji snorted in disbelief and even Komaeda looked incredulous, to his annoyance. “What? Surprised? I’ve actually lived alone most of my life.”

_ And when mom got sick, she wasn’t always in the best state to be in the kitchen. Of course, I can’t expect them to know that, but jeez what gives them the right to think I’m that hapless? _

“So incredible in so many ways,” Komaeda crooned. “I can’t cook at all. I’m just a disaster in the kitchen, ehe!”

“Cooking can be messy,” Saionji muttered. “But it’s fun with Mahiru-onee, I guess. Everything’s fun with Mahiru-onee.”

“You can use the cooker,” Koizumi said. “I made just enough rice.”

_ She’s not wasteful, huh? _

“Awesome.” With that, Matsuda pulled out a cooking book. “I think there’s a recipe for omurice that I want to try. The rice balls gave me an idea.”

“Did you get that from the library?” Koizumi asked, eyebrow raised. “I’m surprised you picked one up.”

“It’s not like the memorization of recipes is a matter of life or death,” Matsuda pointed out. “So, obviously, I’m going to need a cookbook for when I need to cook.”

“That’s not really what I meant.”

“Yeah, whatever. Komaeda, even if you can’t cook, you can clean, right?”

“Yes!” Komaeda exclaimed, delighted to be of use. “I’ll start washing out the rice cooker right away!”

“Rice is ideal with every meal,” Saionji said matter-of-factly. “That book has the right idea. Most of the recipes in it are rice-based.”

_ It’s because Komaeda needs to eat something other than toast. _

Matsuda reads over the ingredients needed, humming as he does. “Alright, after you’re done cleaning, you need to grab carrot, onion, chicken thighs, oil, soup powder, eggs...”

“Y-You should leave it to me!” a shrill voice cried. “I’ll help my precious students cook the most dewilicious meal!!”

“Argh, who invited that rag doll?!” Saionji exclaimed in disgust. “Isn’t the kitchen getting way too crowded!”

Monomi sobbed. “E-Everyone’s partaking in such a wonderful, bonding activity. I’m so happy. I’ll do whatever I can to make it last!”

“N-No, it’s not like that,” Koizumi stammered. “Matsuda and Komaeda just showed up and started doing their own thing.”

“It’s bonding for me and Mahiru-onee,” Saionji huffed. “These two are just pests!!”

“I cleaned out the rice pot,” Komaeda announced cheerily. “Matsuda-kun, what else did you want me to gather?”

“Huh?” Matsuda perked up and decided to follow suit with just ignoring the mascot. “Rice, obviously. But also ketchup, salt, pepper, sugar, green peas, and butter.”

“Understood!” Komaeda chirped, setting the cooker aside before he spun on his heel. “I’ll get them!”

“I-I’ll help!” Monomi squeaked. “L-Like I said, Sensei will help!”

She tottered hopelessly after Komaeda. Koizumi watched warily as Saionji’s expression darkened.

“I feel like if we leave those two to it, something bad will happen,” Koizumi murmured, to which the kimono gremlin shrugged.

“Let it happen. Kill two birds with one stone.”

“You two can leave if you’re that bothered,” Matsuda said. “You’re done using the kitchen, right, camera girl?”

“Yeah, there’s no way I can leave.” Koizumi shook her head. “Hiyoko-chan, if the kitchen explodes, we won’t be able to cook together again.”

Saionji looked horrified at the idea. Steeling her expression with a growl, she stomped over to the two rabbits, shoving past.

“Hurry, hurry! Don’t make a mess!”

“A-Ah, Saionji-san, you’re helping us? You don’t have to!”

“Yaaaay!”

“I’m not doing this FOR EITHER OF YOU!!”

Monomi yelped but Komaeda kept on beaming dreamily.

“Such force...even with how small Saionji-san is, being yelled at by her is incredible.”

“If you keep blathering, I’m going to crush your toes!” Saionji threatened. She grew even more heated when she noticed the oil in Komaeda’s hands. “That’s olive oil, you idiot! Matsuda-nii clearly meant cooking oil!”

“Oh, so sesame?”

“No, no, **_NO_**!”

Monomi whimpered. “Please don’t yell at each other. Be friends and work together instead, wuv wuv.”

Koizumi sighed heavily as Matsuda propped up the book. “Yeah. This is the kind of thing I definitely can’t ignore.”

“That sounds like a personal problem,” was Matsuda’s ever expected response. He rolled up the other sleeve of his coat before selecting a kitchen knife. “At least they’re bickering productively, sans the stupid stuffed toy.”

“She helped us make chocolate one time, so maybe she won’t screw this up?” Koizumi suggested. Her face pinched up. “Hey. You are going to wash your hands, aren’t you?”

“You do remember I’m a doctor, right? Washing hands is part of the job description.” He bristles just a little but he does lather up thoroughly and rinse carefully both his hands and the knife. “And what exactly are you going to do besides stare? Take pictures.”

“Maybe a couple,” Koizumi admitted. “But I’m going to bake and flatten some eggs.” She grabs two from the carton and holds them securely in her hand. “That’s part of omurice’s recipe, right? My dad really likes it, so I’ve made it a few times.”

Matsuda blinks a few times, and he scoffs before he starts chopping up the vegetables and meat. “Yeah, that’s about right. I can make the entire thing by myself, though.”

“I’d rather not see a man fuss around the kitchen for too long,” she said. “It’ll irritate me, especially with how hapless Komaeda seems to be.”

_ He is pretty hapless. It’s hard to argue that when Saionji is lecturing him on powder over there. _

“And what you grabbed is flour, not soup powder! And this is cinnamon, not pepper!”

“Ooh,” Komaeda crooned. “I see, I see!”

“You clearly don’t when you’re making such dumbass mistakes!” Saionji screeched.

Monomi sobbed. “T-Teach more gently, please…”

Matsuda clicked his tongue. “Remind me to never ask him to make me a cup of coffee. He might put egg whites in it instead of cream.”

Koizumi surprisingly chuckled.

“Just make your own.”

Matsuda made a face, but the cooking still went well. Everything was chopped. The correct oil was poured. Everything was fried. Everything was mixed. Matsuda shaped the rice balls and wrapped in the egg that Koizumi made. He arranged his plate. With a giggle, Komaeda arranged his own. Despite being hopeless in the kitchen, he could manage that much. Saionji was huffy although she calmed down when Koizumi gave her a wrapped rice ball of her own and that pout immediately turned into a beam. Monomi was chased off.

Koizumi turned back to wrapping up the meal she made earlier. A packed bento, something Matsuda couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at.

“It’s for Peko-chan,” she said as if reading his mind. “Because  _ someone  _ just told her to guard a dumb machine for hours in the heat.”

“She offered,” Matsuda shot back. A pause. “I’m surprised that candy brat helped you out, though.”

“The sooner Mahiru-onee finishes, the sooner she can walk me to the supermarket to buy all kinds of sweet treats! The same with helping you losers!” Saionji exclaimed, stuffing her face. “It’s simple as that!”

_ Sure, sure, of course, any generosity you show would be entirely self-serving. _

“It’s still such a nice gesture,” Komaeda chirped. “Ah, Matsuda-kun, your arrangement is looking more like, well, a mess.”

“Should I help with that, too? It’d be a problem if you ruined your own meal,  _ doctor _ ,” Koizumi griped.

“I mean if you  _ want  _ to, camgirl.”

“I-I don’t! And don’t call me that!”

“Yeah, doctor pervo, don’t be a fucking sicko to Mahiru-onee!”

“You really should be more tactful, Matsuda-kun...”

“Puh, puh.”  _ It’s not that big of a deal considering the crowd. _ “Puh.”

_ But I really shouldn’t get too distracted. _

“Anyway, since you already know about the current arrangement with the chick of the blade, I guess I should just cut to the chase.” He does set aside his plate but turns to Koizumi all the same. “Are you gonna help guard the thing?”


	6. Magical Miracle Dream Girl ☆ Momonomi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't mistake me for one of *those* fans. Edgelords ruined what was a perfectly good genre and it still pisses me off.
> 
> (A bonus scene that immediately happens after [Chapter 13](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17672852/chapters/50307455) of Super Danganronpa 2: Matsuda Yasuke's Battle of Despair and Wits.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even though this is a bonus scene, there is a bit of character development in this one. Well, that's just what happens when you play things by ear like I do. And I don't know if having a tough time writing filler is that much of a flaw.
> 
> I kinda do want to write Matsuda's first meeting with Usami to further detail their relationship because it is an interesting one, albeit strained under these circumstances. I will say that while Miaya is a magical girl fan, she's not a total fucking nerd like Matsuda is so she doesn't know like, every magical girl series. But she knows more about Wedding Peach than Matsuda does, for what it's worth. I didn't even know Wedding Peach was a magical girl series until it was on a magical girl quiz. My team came in last place. I got most of the few points we did get. Amami was there. It was a pretty alright time.

“U-Uuu...boohoo.”

Monomi sniffled into her paws, sitting on her rump and looking so pitiful it was honestly kind of sickening. Matsuda, ever weathering, just stared and waited for her to stop crying.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I-I’ll get stronger, I will, I will, but, but,” her breath hitches. Matsuda wordlessly hands her a handkerchief and she blows into it. It’s an astounding sight and he refuses her trying to return it. He’s just, he’s not sure how his sanity would handle potentially having to wash off a stuffed animal’s mucus from a fabric. Shit was already so fucking weird.

Monomi dabs at her eyes delicately.

“Matsuda-kun, you really are such a kind boy. So, so kind.”

That’s such a miserable thing to say, so Matsuda rolled his eyes at it.

“O-Okay!” she exclaimed, getting to her feet with a few squeaky noises. “Sensei will now bulk up before her next fight! I won’t lose! Not when my precious students are depending on me!”

_It’d be easy to burst her bubble but this time, she’s not wrong. We have to get to the hospital on the third island. Not just for that guy’s sake, but for all our sakes. I have to scan not just myself, but potentially everyone else._

“I-I just, um, need a new weapon, maybe a new ribbon, and, um.” Monomi pats her belly a few times. “This diaper is a bit restrictive too, huh.”

“Then just take it off?” He raised an eyebrow. “It’s not like you need it. You don’t defecate, right?”

“S-Such a horrifying question to ask your teacher!” she exclaimed, jumping with an utterly mortified look. “It’s not just inappropriate, it’s so indecent! You should never suggest nor ask such things of a young woman!”

_Young woman? What about her is young besides that childish appearance? She has an age? She considers herself matured?_

So many questions. So little importance. Matsuda scowled.

“I’ve already dug around your intestines,” he pointed out. “I know there’s nothing there but fluff.”

“D-Don’t say that; it’s so embarrassing!” she cried. “For a teacher to be in such a position before her precious, precious students! I’m just so, so ashamed! I never want to think about it again!”

“So you’re just going to keep wearing a diaper. Even though that’s not exactly tasteful either.” He shook his head. “What is there even to be done about you? Urgh. Come on.” He clapped his hands a few times, and she tottered after him in confusion. “Let’s go to Rocketpunch.”

Monomi blinked up at him. Grimacing, he explained.

“You said you needed a new ribbon, right? We’ll look for sticks on the way there but there might very well be something else you can use.”

“M-Matsuda-kun, oh.” She presses her paws together, awestruck. “Y-You really are such a kind, kind child!”

“Hurry the fuck up or I’m throwing you ahead.”

“R-Right!”

* * *

“Red or yellow? Is yellow maybe too flashy, Matsuda-kun?”

“Those are for pigtails.”

“Oh! I see! I’m not a pig, after all, I’m a rabbit! Ehehehe!” Monomi giggled even in the face of Matsuda’s stoic frown. “They have all kinds of ribbons. It’s difficult to choose.”

“Some of these have different names,” Matsuda said, pulling out a big red one. “This, for instance, is a V Ribbon.”

“Ooh! For victory!” Monomi exclaimed. “Yes, yes.”

“No, but whatever.” He held up the ribbon to Monomi’s ear. Making a face, he tied the bow and then leaned back to take in the sight. “A maybe, maybe?”

_Not exactly feeling the most confident about this one. Best to find a couple of other options._

He dug around the ribbon section some more. His eyes light up as he pulled out another one, similarly bright red but so very fine.

“This one’s better,” he said, holding it out. “The Hime Ribbon. It’s an actual creation of the princess of the Magical Kingdom.”

“It looks like this one,” Monomi replied, patting her bow.

“It’s completely different!” Matsuda exclaimed, annoyed. “It’s _come on, come on, go, go, jump_!”

“Come on, come on, go, go jump?” Monomi repeated. She mulls it over before pumping her paw. “Ike, ike!”

“No, no!” Huffing, Matsuda rubbed his temples. “It's a classic! A fucking classic! Like, Akko-chan and Mami? No, not _that_ Mami!”

“H-How cruel,” she sobbed, holding down her ears. “But, you know.” A pause before she beams. “It does give me a nostalgic feeling, Matsuda-kun.”

“Because it’s a classic,” Matsuda muttered, puffing his cheeks. “But, considering what this ribbon does, it’s a bad fit for you.”

“Eh? What does it do?”

“It’s...freaky.” Making a face, Matsuda set the ribbon lovingly aside. “Maybe we should look for something a little more straight-forward.”

“Hm, hm,” Monomi hums. “You know, transformation is a very important part of being a magical girl but it’s not always a good thing.” She tugs at her diaper, sullen. “This kind of transformation for instance.”

_Transformation. Yeah, obviously. Normal people can only do so much even with the amount of capability they have. But, there’s more to it._

“It’s not about getting stronger, it’s also about building confidence in yourself,” Matsuda snapped, irritated now. “You may not have the range you did before but the fact that you’re so whiny and weepy about it is beyond infuriating. Was your character always that fickle? Your simpering, desperate optimism only a forced front?”

Monomi stilled and blinked up at him.

“Pathetic,” he sniffed. “Even if you didn’t mean for things to go so wrong, you’re making it worse with how flighty and pitiful you are.” He quiets for a moment, and weirdly, he feels sick. He covers his mouth with a groan. “Gross.”

“Matsuda-kun,” Monomi says, softly and meaningfully. “So harsh.”

 _It is a bit harsh, isn’t it?_ He thought almost in mirthless amusement. _If she had just been trying to help, that’d be one thing, but she’s responsible for our lost memories. She’s part of the reason why we’re trapped in the first place. That’s why I can’t help but get so pissed about it._

That said, he should know better than to tell off a program of all things. He wished he could just spit in the face of whoever _human_ in charge. But that person is, allegedly, someplace he can’t reach while trapped.

_It’s useless. It’s all useless. Except. I really do have to get to the hospital._

“I’m sorry. You’re right. An adult complaining so much only burdens the children.”

Matsuda stilled for a moment, perking up.

“I’ll do better!” Monomi chirped. “I’ll get stronger! For my precious, precious students!”

 _She’s a program, but maybe she does have a semblance of maturity._ He thinks that, but even so, his expression darkens. _Still a program that acts as a proxy. Still incapable of explanations and justifications. Still the means we found ourselves trapped with our heads tampered. How trustworthy can someone so fundamentally detached and closed off really be? Even if it’s someone with this kind of personality?_

Still, there was one matter that was clear while the rest were vague.

_Even if we’re at odds, we have the same enemy. Komaeda said that about the traitor, too._

While he’s still undeniably pissed and suspicious, he does need all the help he can get. Especially from someone with the capabilities of taking down the Monobeasts, of opening the paths to the closed-off islands where more could be gleamed and where more could be done. With that, he looks through the ribbons once more, pulling out various options before he found one that had him pause.

A pretty yellow ribbon adorned with a blue star. Still quiet, Matsuda knelt down and tugged the red ribbon off Monomi to replace it. He fixed the yellow ribbon and the star shone brightly at him. Pulling back, he took in the beaming Monomi and nodded.

“Yeah, that’ll work. Let’s go with this one.”

Monomi twirled around with flourish.

“Magical Miracle Girl ☆ Monomi! At your service!” A pause. Monomi yelped. “N-No, _Usami_! I mean Usami! I’m not Monomi, I don’t even _know_ a Monomi!”

“Right,” Matsuda said, nodding along. “There should be a baton around here that we can use as a weapon. Hopefully one that suits your new look.”

“Y-Yes!” she exclaimed, watery-eyed. “Yes, yes!”

When he found one and handed it over, Monomi waved it around and declared,

“I absolutely won’t lose! I’ll fight for the sake of my students! With the power of wuv and hope!”

Matsuda said nothing to that, even as his lips twisted in the slightest way.

Later, when Monomi faced against that snake beast again, not only was she knocked away again in spite of her best efforts, but...

That thing knocked her away with the force of a _truck_ , causing the now broken baton to clatter at Matsuda’s feet.

“Welp,” was all he had to say.


End file.
